Absence Notice

[Rosedawn]

My wonderful husband is flying us to New York tomorrow for our anniversary.  I won't be around probably until Monday!

[Greenie]

I have a kind of two-fold absence here - the first part is as many of you know I started a new job!  So I'm figuring out my new schedule, how to meal plan and cook, and I'm going to be working in how to go to the gym.  General kind of life improvements that will take me some time to settle.

The second part is that... I've just been feeling disconnected from a lot of you.  I don't feel like many of you want to rp with me and/or talk to me - and I'm sure some of that is mental illness talking but if it is, it's talking loud enough that I believe it.  I've been doing other things with my downtime instead to try to ignore my feelings and drown them out in other activities.  I'm not sure how long I'll be feeling like doing that.  I do still WANT to rp and the interest is there I just... I don't want to poke people right now.  I'm not really up for the rejection I guess.  So if you want me you'll have to come find me until I can get my head out of this.

[raina]

Honestly.

I don't want to explain everything that's been going on in my life.

The important bits are basically my health has be shit, my physical conditions have gotten worse, my mental state is eh on good days. And this site requires a lot of time, commitment, and effort to even enjoy a little bit.  Its incredibly high maintenance to get anything anywhere not to mention mental or emotional stress that can come with the community. And that I know for a fact there are people here who very much dislike me.

Don't get me wrong I have a lot of friends here, I don't know parts of the community even,but get along decently with those I do. But it just. I don't know. I felt like I showed up to a party right when it was ending. While i'm not the newest member of the community i'm definitely one of the newer ones compared to the majority of the people here. Pardon the heavy use of similes, but. It feels like trying to smush into a seat at a lunch table that's already full. Its a constant struggle just to stay seated, to stay part of the community, any any enjoyment I do get from from sitting with everyone at the table, talking to everyone, it is tainted by the feeling of always being on the verge of falling off the bench. Not fitting in.

Its not like I want to quit, I love my characters and the plots I have. But with how draining it can be to be here verses my current state of health I cant really be active at this time. And I don't know when I will be healthy enough to even do so. Hell an important appointment for diagnosis I have is literally scheduled for 2020, that's how backed up the doctors in the area are. And how uncertain I am of when I will even be able to get the help I need.

[Shadowphyr]

I suppose I should renew my notice of absence on the new board

I know I probably owe everybody some kind of explanation, but ....to be perfectly honest, I really just don't wanna talk about it.  Life's been kind of a lot of suck, and talking about it seems to be all I ever do, so I hope you'll forgive me if I don't want to rehash all the bull.    I love and miss you guys.  I wish things were different right now

[zephkin]

Looks like I'll be adding to the trend of 'why my life sucks'.  I wanted to apologize for my sudden burst of activity, then disappearance.  I don't feel like I need to go into detail, because I know most of us are all too familiar with fighting mental issues and what not.  But basically, what I wanted to say is this - I'm sorry.  I need some time.  I love you all.  I just don't feel like talking or rping right now.  I was REALLY enjoying the threads I had going and then splat goes my muse.  As cliche as it is, its true; This is ME and not YOU guys AT ALL (looking at you Rose and Greenie <3) I really really hate the timing, especially with the world event ending, but I'm afraid that if I push myself now, it might not end well.

So TLDR: I love you all <3 I'm okay <3  I'll be back when I can <3 <3 <3

if you absolutely need to get a hold of me, Zira and Arc are the best people to go through. <3

[Greenie]

I'm going to be going on a leave of absence.  I don't know how long I'll be gone.  Until I miss this place, or until I feel comfortable returning, or never?  I'm not really sure what the answer is.  I don't feel comfortable, I don't feel like most of you want me here (with some notable exceptions and you know who you are) and to be honest I don't feel like most of you even like me on a personal level.  I try, in general, to not be in places that I'm not wanted in my personal life as it's just not healthy and I long ago accepted that I would never be someone who had a ton of friends so part of me is okay with the potential outcome of not coming back, and the other part of me is sad because you guys have been a part of my life for a long time now.

I will not be on discord much.  I will not be logging on here much.  It's definitely part of my problem, constantly seeing people doing things - sometimes things I have expressly asked to be a part of and was turned down from - and not feeling like I can participate or that I'm wanted to participate.  So I will remove myself from seeing it.  I will be on social media and anyone who has my number is welcome to text me or ask me for it.

I will be putting up a companion will tonight in the event that I do decide not to return.

[Kira_Sonar]

I may not be overly active on AAA forum quite yet. However I've recently gotten a smart phone. With it I've downloaded Discord~ >3< Been fairly active there.

Now why post here? I've over extended my right hand's thumb during an exercise regiment. Currently wearing a wrist brace and taking a low dose of pain meds. I think I pulled a muscle running along my thumb? Maybe a ligament? I did this about 3 years ago too.

I've been avoiding text based things for a week now. My new job requires quite a bit of typing as is. Not to worry tho. My hand feels 65% better now... Still taking it slow as to speed up the healing process.

[zephkin]

Feel better Kira!!!

[zephkin]

D-D-DOUBLE POOOOST

MY HUSBAND AND I ARE MOVING INTO OUR APARTMENT TOMORROW FINALLY YAAAAAAY So don't expect to see much of me until probably next week!

[Ryuukokoro]

Whoo, that's exciting! Good luck, zeph!

[Kira_Sonar]

Forgive me. Around the start of this month there has been non-stop grassfires. Plus I've even helped neighbors burn outside of firefighting. At one fire we ended up burning over 300 acres with the neighbor's pastures/help. It's a thing people do every other year in Kansas, burn pastures. Lots of conservation and blah behind that.

Plus my Sis has 2 weeks off anesthesia schooling. Guess where she's staying to study? Basically I get interrupted every 30min OR end up watching my nephew after work. This'll end around April 29th.


Update: I've forgotten how to live. Forgive me if I barricade myself in a room and play only video games while I ignore my problems. I've so much to catch up with online and RL. So much. April 29th can't come fast enough. T_T

[Kira_Sonar]

I'm queen of the absent thread!

>.> In all seriousness I don't mean to be gone so much. Some of my college friends poked me last week about a get away weekend... that turned into a vacation with friends and will bleed into vacation with family. Been working extra hours and calling in favors for this spur of the moment vacation.

Sorry for no heads up and my silence all last week!!! And FYI firefighting has been busier than the previous 2 years combined. Seems everyone decided to burn off their land this year and medical calls out the wazoo.

Should be home by Friday the 18th~ Just in time for my cousin's graduation on the 20th. >.< Why I have to take pictures at the event and not his parents... I've no clue.

Swear I'll come back a new woman! Also get all my YA/RP stuff figured out.